Thursday, May 7, 2015

Dear Tom Part 3

Dear Tom,
Did you know nothing is lethal? Swear to god. Reality is bonkers.
Wait, that makes no sense to you does it? Sorry it’s been a while since we talked. I am now petitioning to the land “Neden”. Yeah they are actually called that, and people thought I was crazy. Well they are right but STILL! The indignity is what stings.
Apparently however Neden’s pretty high class, really hard to get in (see the crazy comment), so now I’m homeless again until I get some rad house. Maybe I can find some giant monster a quester killed and live in that. Yeah like questers would just leave perfectly good giant meat just lying around. Pffffffft, I am hilarious.
So my food quest hasn’t gone great, while I haven’t found anything the Lardinals haven’t been able to do, I have seen plenty that is cooked MUCH better then I can. So if I wanted to perfect my flavored butter I am good, but if I brought flavored butter to the lardinals I will probably be laughed out.
But there is something to these beasts, these sinners, corpses and aberrations we slay and leave bleeding. Is there not something more we can be doing with them? Creathorne forbids scalping and I would hate to breach any sort of ethics of COURSE but if I sever a large portion of the body I believe it may be able to leave an unscalped body while giving me a sizable pound of flesh.
I’ll see if I can perhaps commission the adventurers to assist me on this endeavor? Either way the lardinals will surely be pleased if I can provide food made from ingredients never cut.
But that of course is assuming the universe survives.

Apparently there is a group called the Risen Kingdom, I do not know if they are mere cultists drawing from the void or the void itself but they are bad news. I know, I was one (awkward). I hope to use my necromancy to force that link again and get more knowledge over them.
I however must be better then I am, I am weak, a walking corpse. If I am to be worthy of anything, I must learn. It is time to take on the western flank.

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