Friday, April 1, 2016

Tonight's Program Guide!


Tonight's Programs on the View from Valehaven


In tonight's episode of Happy Days, Swoop must chose either a 5 year Bardic Contract or enroll at the University of Highbridge. Meanwhile, Syruss accepts a challenge from Jean Baptiste to dance a dangerous jig, over a live shark!

The program is sponsored by Oldbie Bardic!!
"Is that Oldbie Bardic Man?"
"It sure is!"
"Well, turn it up, man!"

Tonight, Masterpiece Theater presents: Chimlock
Ezra and Sir Kovacs attempt to solve the mystery of the Squire in Pink.  Can Inspector Saka solve this case without the help of his outside investigators?


Chimlock; made possible because of prop donations, NPC supporters like you, 
and a grant from the SMAS Foundation.

Real Housewives of Creathorne: Spring Season Premiere!
Preparations for Tournaments of Creathorne are underway.  Who forgot the wrist bands?  Who's lied to whom about the mess on the tavern floor. And you'll never believe what Papa O'Quinlan does this week!

Sponsored by Bamboo: 9 out of 10 fighters say that Bamboo is lighter than PVC.  Bamboo!

Archer
"Doctor" Garharz attempts to patch up Sir Guilliam.  Which triggers Wrath's phobia of golems, Wrath manages to shoot around corners and hit Runaris, again.  Effa feels buyers remorse over her recent purchase of an ocelot, while Sir Eldritch is wooed by Malory Archer.

Firefly
The crew of the Serenity is hired by a known criminal. Soft is afraid of Sheppard Book's hair in its natural state.

Programming Note: Due to cancellation of Firefly, this will be the last aired episode. Next week this time slot will air So You Want to be a Bard?

Bachelorette
Sir Nighthawk is pursued by Dame Gwen, will their romance bear fruit?  Or will their Queen of Hearts ceremony be called off?

Do you suffer from the embarrassment of Undeath? Does sunlight cause intense pain?  Are you unable to cross a circle of protection?  Garmacile might be for you.  Garmacile is a one time purifying holy fire, provided by Garm to remove the terrifying stigma of undeath.  Now available without a prescription!

Battlestar Guild
Dame Freesia has gone missing after a Cylon attack.  Sir Malaki refuses to abandon the search for her, while Gavin's Viper wing encounters a strange Cylon Viper, that's... waggling.

Sponsored by Seed of Life Alert, when you've fallen, and can't get up.
"I've fallen in combat, and I can't get up!"
"We're sending help right away, Lord Jarrord!"

The Gua Dring Dead
Lako and Enlon huddle together as they discover a new level of terror as a swarm of Walkers trap them after betrayal at the hands of some character that will be dead in a messy fashion next week.  Plus, you'll see 30 entire seconds of zombies!

Stay tuned after the show for a live episode of Talking Gua Dring, guest staring the character that died this week!


The Golden Guys
Sir Duncan is concerned that his housemate Sir Vawn's latest cooking endeavor will put their arterial health at risk, and offers some healthier vegetable based alternatives. Trent dispenses sassy comments about his roommates Sir Vawn's housekeeping skills, and Sir Mestoph shares his folksie wisdom with a newbie who doesn't know yet not to listen to Mestoph.

Sponsored by Ye Olde Tours Casino Tour Bus, daily trips to the Clontarf Casino.  Why spend your pension gold on replacement knees and lawn chairs, when you can enjoy yourself at Sir Tao's blackjack tables and unlimited trips to the buffet?   You won't need your anti inflammatory meds when you see our prices!  Wheelchair accommodations available, and no need to worry about light weight fast weapons and scary spell system changes.   Come on down, have dinner at a reasonable hour, and be in bed before the nightquest.


Superviewful
Areni and her older brother Lucas team up with their Angel pal Twenaria to combat terrible spelling and evil grammar mistakes, while being snarked at by the Queen of Hell, Kiira. Will they find a way to please everyone?  Or just make it out by the skin of their teeth?

Stay tuned for our encore presentation, of the recap of Tournament You Missed about The Event you still owe the Clontarf Casino Money for!!


2 comments:

  1. Ye Olde Tours takes no responsibility for losses, or broken knee caps. Not all trips to the casino include "enjoyment", "unlimited" does not mean unlimited, your oats-per-mile may very.

    ReplyDelete