When you don't know the right words do you speak so the silence won't be given meaning, or do you hold your tongue and trust in the eloquence of others?? I'm working to learn to still mine so I'll stop here and say deep sympathy. - Angie Gray
A friend posted this yesterday,
and it illustrated so perfectly how I felt at the time. It is never easy to
accept the loss of a friend, especially in a community as close as the Realms. My first reaction, upon hearing the news, was
stunned disbelief. It seemed unfathomable to me that something like this could
happen. But it did happen, and for the better part of a day now, I have
struggled to fit the reality of Bud's passing into a focused thought. But how do you sum up the essence of what a
person was, to you or to your community, in just a few sentences or paragraphs?
How do you put years of memories into
words? How do you express the depths of different emotions on a page? Whether
through silence or through words, we each honor Bud's memory in our own way.
Yesterday, silence was best for
me, as I came to terms with how I felt. But now, I feel that words are in
order; I cannot let this moment pass without marking the kind of person Bud
was, and how much he is already missed. Many of his friends have been posting
memories and tributes, and much more
eloquently than I. Many of these have been included below. For myself, the only thing I can do is try to
speak from the heart.
Quite simply, Bud was a pillar in
our community. He was one of those players that would add to the experience of
others just by being at an event. PC or NPC - it never mattered. Bud would
always go that extra mile to ensure that others were having fun. He was
constantly giving back to the game - his time, his energy, and himself- and we were all enriched by knowing and being
around him. His two main characters, Brighthammer and Arg, were legends unto
themselves. Who doesn't have at least one fond memory of trying to converse
with Arg, or of questing with Brighthammer? Buddy was a Knight of the Eternal Flame,
a founding member of the Adventurers
Guild, an active quester and immersive role-player, a formidable fighter, a
stalwart friend, and an all-around great guy. His was one of the voices that
carried above the field, urging people on. He was a person that others in the
game looked up to, counted on, felt comfortable with, and developed deep and
lasting friendships with. He was Bud.
Even when he drifted away from
the game, there were still many among us who kept in touch, or kept him in our
thoughts, or even just remembered him fondly from time to time. Even if you
hadn't seen him in ages, you could usually pick up right where you left off. That
was part of who Bud was. He was kind, he was goofy, he had a great sense of
humor, and he would go out of his way to
be there for his friends, even when the costs were high. He was that ear-to-ear grin that was always so
familiar. He was that memorable facial expression that we all knew so well - one
eyebrow raised high. He was huge bear hugs and genuine happiness at being
around friends. He was Bud, Buddy, Budzor, and all that entailed; he was beloved
by many, both in good times and in bad, and he will be truly and deeply missed,
always.
Good-bye, old friend, off on your
next adventure. Your loss is keenly felt
by those of us who were lucky enough to call you friend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After learning of his passing, many of Bud's friends took to social media to share memories and stories of him and post tributes and other words. They are included here so that we might all remember Bud, and what he meant to our community, together.
There was a few years in the Realms where, at a few events every year, there
would be an announcement in the reading of the rules that said: "There
may come a point in this event where it becomes apparent that you will
need to wrestle an NPC to the ground. As long as you're sure and are
careful, go ahead. The NPC is okay with it." It
didn't take long for us to realize that that NPC was almost always Buddy.
Once I remember the announcement happening, and Buddy just cartoonishly
looked down at his feet in a fake show of somber disappointment. He
was always willing to go the extra mile, for our game and our
community. Even when I saw him butting heads with people, it was always
trying to contribute something great to our game and community, often at
great sacrifice to himself. I hope everyone remembers those moments when they think of Bud. - Ian Struckoff
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Photo from Facebook |
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This was drawn a very long time ago, freehand at a Realms event while the subject was outside doing tourneys or questing (I think it was the second Feast of Seven Tides, so circa 2003). The gentleman in the drawing was someone I considered an extremely good friend. We drifted apart over the years but I still thought of him from time to time. Even with whatever else went on, he was always willing to chat and say hi.
Bud Wolfhope has now passed on, and I will miss him always. He is gone far too soon and certainly before having had nearly enough fun. - Doug Fisher
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- Arthur Granger
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Arg @ N/S War 2006; photo by Robyn Nielsen |
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Buddy, you were around when my wife and I came to see your mom. You rode alllllll the way in the back of a mini-van so we could all go to the concert together. You invited me on to Team Samiches. We kept seeing each other in Joe’s backyard. Then things wandered, as they will, I ran into you at Black & White when you had figured out how to make a segmented pike. Then some time away, some other things, and you were back as your villain. It was good to see you again. Now you are gone this time for a bit longer. Merry meet, Merry part, Merry meet again. - James Murphy
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Together, we were all invincible.
Now, suddenly, we are not.
You are missed.
- Wendy Vigneault
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UCCT 2008; photo by Melissa Fitzgerald |
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I've been quiet for years. It's takes the passing of an old friend to bring me out to the light. Buddy Wolfhope was one of the nicest, selfless, and most humorous people I've had the privilege of knowing. My heart is filled with sorrow for his passing but also uplifted to know he was so well loved by many. Rip Budzor.
- Ray Roberts
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We went a few years without seeing each other, and then randomly stumbled across each other at a Post Apocalypse LARP called Endgame. He was playing Dr Slashblight, I was playing Sid the History professor turned reminder of the remnants of the human race. We started chatting about a situation he was dealing with, and I ended up advising him: "there's always a third option." The next day, he and I end up crossing dimensional borders or some such, and Sid gets stuck between a rock and a morality hard place. Slashblight was there, holding up the rear, and he came running forward yelling "Sid! The third option!" We came to a better solution, and saved the day.
That was the good thing about Buddy,
he could see the strengths and assests in people, and remind them that
they were supposed to be better than they were being. He was a good egg,
our world is reduced, but you know him. He's going to be there,
holding the door for us, and he'll know the best place in town for a
burger.
- Alex Newbold
- Alex Newbold
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Photo from Facebook |
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This is one of my favorite pictures of an old friend. It was taken nine years and 4 days ago at my wedding.
This morning, I received the call from his mother that the worst of the worst happened.
Before today, I had hoped that soon we would sit over coffee, and come to terms with the last year of our lives. I had hoped my friend, our Bud-zor would sit with me and laugh about all the crazy shit we did and were going to do.
And now... that's not going to happen and I am heart broken.
The last couple of years were hard.
But, the decade and a half before that was amazing, full of love and full of friendship.
That is the Buddy I will always carry with me. - Beth Tozier
Before today, I had hoped that soon we would sit over coffee, and come to terms with the last year of our lives. I had hoped my friend, our Bud-zor would sit with me and laugh about all the crazy shit we did and were going to do.
And now... that's not going to happen and I am heart broken.
The last couple of years were hard.
But, the decade and a half before that was amazing, full of love and full of friendship.
That is the Buddy I will always carry with me. - Beth Tozier
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So I ran along side Bright hammer a lot during my earlier years in realms, if I wasn't repairing Shandar it was most likely him. Buddy was always a smiling face to keep you going and a rallying voice to move a group.
However, one of my fondest memories was a Camp Allen event when it had snowed, BH ran around with a metal shield and there was a good amount of down time when I was hanging around and got the idea to go sledding down the driveway. I looked at BH and asked if I could use his shield to do so and without question he handed it over. For a young person in the game he was always someone who could be counted on, and as an adventurer in the game on more than one occasion I saw him go into dangerous situations to get someone who was left behind.