The Grimloch Tribune
By Callahan “Syruss” Marsden
LEAD
STORY: ZOMBIE WORMS!!!!!!
The Necromantic Blight that plagues Grimloch knows no bounds! The dirt and worms are even being infected!
So-called zombie worms — and yes, they actually exist — like to munch on bones for dinner. The creatures also use the bones for shelter. Spread throughout Grimloch, zombie worms are quite adept at making the bones of people and other large animals look like Swiss cheese.
The Necromantic Blight that plagues Grimloch knows no bounds! The dirt and worms are even being infected!
So-called zombie worms — and yes, they actually exist — like to munch on bones for dinner. The creatures also use the bones for shelter. Spread throughout Grimloch, zombie worms are quite adept at making the bones of people and other large animals look like Swiss cheese.
But these worms don't have any mouthparts with which to
gnaw the holes. So how do they do it? A study published on May 1 in Westwood by
Dr. Venture states that the "bone-drilling" worms, are actually
"bone-dissolving" worms: The worms’ skin produces acid in large
quantities to break down bones.
They also have reported to have excellent echolocation and follow the above ground foot traffic. They wait for an unlucky adventurer to meet some horrible fate then they go and infect the corpse. They also have been known to infect a careless adventurer looking to camp on the ground under the stars.
They also have reported to have excellent echolocation and follow the above ground foot traffic. They wait for an unlucky adventurer to meet some horrible fate then they go and infect the corpse. They also have been known to infect a careless adventurer looking to camp on the ground under the stars.
Grimloch resident Stryker was quoted saying “There is a
reason we sleep in tree forts it is simply too dangerous to sleep on the ground
with all of these undead creatures lurking about.
Upcoming events:
Looking to make your fortune?
Want to win something magical?
Or perhaps want to see some games you’ve never seen before?
Then come to the grand opening of Nymbous and Syruss’ “New Eden Casino”!
There will be a VIP poker tourney that will give you a chance at a magical artifact that you can alter yourself as well as a pretty decent sized purse (gold not actually a purse Grebinar you silly dog!).
The entrants of this tourney will be treated like kings (Ask Cecil how awesome that is) you will be waited on hand and mouth with delicious Drinks, Snacks, and Cigars or candy Cigarettes depending on you preference.
Also there are still openings for server and dealer positions so if earning your coin is more your style and you would rather not gamble and WIN then please send your Ravens to Syruss’s weird home address at Rohde and Syruss’ Hump House and Bar
That’s P.O BOX syruss83@yahoo.com Compton Grimloch 69697
Order of the List Activities and Points on the horizon
When is the next time you can win points? Please continue to check Grimloch tribune for up to date articles on when you can score your next points and shoot for that top 16 spot!
Hey Guys we have two more events coming up this month where you can either can either battle for a top 16 spot, or continue to solidify your spot in the standings.
The Iron Lotus Presents: Dragon Master is providing Moonlit Tournies this Friday night.
Also Tourney of Creathorne is right around the corner. So sharpen your steel stretch your hamstrings and prepare for some excellent competition.
All of the results can be located At the Order of the List’s data collection station located in Grimloch (another weird address) orderofthelist.com
Obituary.
This week in Grimloch we are
mourning the death of Captain Fatty McGargle.
Cpt. McGargle first came into Syruss’s life as a little wooden puppet he got at Uncle Cecil’s four years ago this year.
They grew as more than just puppet and puppeteer and became life partners.
Traveling everywhere getting into all kinds of shenanigans these two were inseparable.
Until the tragic day when Syruss came home from Green and Gold not to his loving Puppets wooden arms but only to find Rohde playing fetch with Grebinar. It was not a mere stick they were playing fetch with it was in fact Cpt. McGargle.
Cpt. McGargle first came into Syruss’s life as a little wooden puppet he got at Uncle Cecil’s four years ago this year.
They grew as more than just puppet and puppeteer and became life partners.
Traveling everywhere getting into all kinds of shenanigans these two were inseparable.
Until the tragic day when Syruss came home from Green and Gold not to his loving Puppets wooden arms but only to find Rohde playing fetch with Grebinar. It was not a mere stick they were playing fetch with it was in fact Cpt. McGargle.
“He had so much love in his
stick heart, and he was always smiling with that painted face of his” **sobbing**
“I will never love another puppet again!” Syruss cried.
When asked why he did it Rohde said this “ I hated that fu*$ing puppet.
When asked why he did it Rohde said this “ I hated that fu*$ing puppet.
Well that's it for this issue I am Theddy Quill along
side Syruss reporting the facts, the whole facts, and nothing but the
facts. Stay safe see you next week
