I was squired at Black and White 2012 to Jason Rosa, Lord Sir Aeston. It was probably one of the best decisions I made in my Realms career, but it was also one fraught with anxiety. The path that I took to become a squire is reflective of the type of person that I am and the character traits that are both my biggest assets and greatest weaknesses all rolled into one.
I was very indecisive about what path I wanted to take in the game. I remember a conversation with Jason when I was in college about where I saw myself in a few years, and he asked me if I would ever want to become a knight, or if my aspirations lay elsewhere. I couldn’t answer his question at the time, because I have always been focused on the goal that is right in front of my nose (in this case, making it through college and finding a job). This has allowed me to accomplish many things in my life, but I can also be a bit short-sighted as a result. Knowing Jason as I do now, I can see he was probably laying the framework for a squireship that he knew would come to be in the years to come. I, of course, was oblivious.
As the years went by, I graduated college, and saw that my closest friends were beginning to really step up and serve the community. I watched Alysha toil for many hours on so many projects, and I thought to myself, “I can help too!” But I felt that my services were going unused. I had been somewhat unreliable during college, and had said no to a great many projects, but I was ready and willing to assist, and no one was asking me. I love to give my opinion, even unasked, and I was frustrated by my lack of involvement in the projects that Rhiassa was starting.
I always weigh my decisions very carefully, and I wanted to be sure that becoming a squire was the best path to achieve my new goal of becoming more involved. I discussed my idea with Jeremy and Alysha, and thought long and hard about it. I was nervous that I would fail and be unable to keep up with the level of dedication that I saw squireship to be. I struggled with the idea for several months before I finally decided that I was ready to live up to the ideals and dedication of a knight. That was the tough decision. The easy one was knowing who I would ask, and what order I wanted to be a squire to. There was really no question for me that I would ask to squire to the Knights of Rhiassa, and that the knight I would ask would be Aeston. Rhiassa is a nation founded on giving back to the community, and it is also my home, where my closest friends are. As for choosing Jason, he had always been there for me, and I knew that he would have a lot of teach me, and that he would push me to be the best version of myself. I didn’t ask to be a squire until I knew I was ready to be a knight. Jason had been waiting for me to ask for longer than I had known what I wanted, but it was as simple as asking.
