Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Bardic Circle: Jean-Baptiste's Winning Bardic from Feast of Leviathan 18


"Baby Wars"

The realms was peaceful for a time
 The home of Tuilli, finest speaker of the nine
 He was famous as a bastard and he wore that title well 
A hit with the kids and the denizens of hell 
Now Neden was a questing town, loaded up with loot 
And robbing it would be quite the bastard thing to do 
Syruss found a letter, Neden will host a event next fortnight 
And it’s called the Baby Fights 

 So register early and don’t forget to prepay 
Or you may miss the most gruesome event yet to date, 
Tulli the bastard’s coming, the man will never quit 
And he’s after Neden’s shi…stuff! 

Now Neden’s well defended, but Tuilli had a trick 
You see he’s well respected by all those under six 
And though they have few spells, they are all awfully cute 
And beneath those sparkling eyes is a cold hearted brute 
So they came in droves, but the guards just let them pass 
A few seconds later those guards just breathed their last 
Tuilli knew he had a chance, he already knew he’d win 
'Cause what monster kills a kid? 

 So register early and don’t forget to prepay 
Or you may miss the most gruesome event yet to date, 
Tuilli the bastard’s coming, the man will never quit 
And he’s after Neden’s shi…stuff! 

Well the event was supposed to begin at dawn so it started at 12 of course. 
All the questers were silent, not sure what was in store 
They yelled “Tuilli come on out, beat us if you can.”
 And that was when the rattling sounds and the crying all began 
An army of toddlers soon swarmed, 20 strong and 3 feet high
 Each of them had armor, and murder in their eyes. 
They had the players surrounded, there was doubt on every face 
But oh well, they already paid! 

So sorceries to the front and let those javelins fly
When has ethics ever stopped us from having a good time?
Tulli ran away, so the armies disorganized
and you’re gonna win this fight


That's right!

[Guitar solo]


Now wipe the blood of your tabards and drink to forget
You just murdered a child, are you proud of yourself yet
Baptise will be busy, veal’s on the menu tonight
And you won the Baby Fights!

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