Thursday, April 13, 2017

Pen Thief

Law-Abiding Players of the Realms,

Breaching sensitive subjects can be a difficult thing. Sometimes, however, things must be stated. The cards need to be put on the table. We must address the elephant in the room.

Two words: Pen thieving. It's an epidemic we face in game today. Some say it's an honest mistake, but is it? When is enough going to be enough? At what point do we start to punish the culprits for their indiscretions?

How did it begin? We all know those large boxes of generic blue and black pens that cost next to no money. Maybe it started as borrowing one of those occasionally to finish your verbal, get signatures, or answer a puzzle you were working on. Maybe that pen happened to find itself in your pouch and you forgot all about it. Okay. Fine. Accidents happen.

But those very nice Pilot G-2 pens you borrowed from that head marshal, the one that they were using to track the combat brackets, did you return it to them when you were done writing down that rune set? You could have stolen months of writing away from that marshal. It could be they use that at work, too. Those pens write so nicely and last a really long time. Maybe you should think about others livelihoods next time your inclined to nab something so functionally important to some.

At what point does the pen stolen become sacred? I think, in order to answer that question, we need to go back, really far back, about 20 years ago. There was little Diana, a bushy haired, bright-eyed little middle schooler. All she wanted more than anything was a box of those brightly colored, all-the-rage gel pens: Gelly Rolls. Thankfully, Diana's parents bought the popular gel pens for their beloved daughter and she was the happiest person alive for all the days that she had those pens. Until, that is, they inevitably ran out or were forgotten about for something like trading cards or video games.

Years passed and adulthood hit our heroine hard. Those Gelly Rolls became harder to come by, and harder to buy when they returned to prominence because they want how much for those?! For gel pens? Luckily, though, those pens were on clearance when she was purchasing a box to be used for an upcoming series for the View from Valehaven. So, she eagerly purchased them and was temporarily granted the pure pleasure reminiscent of her childhood.

Then, needless to say, they were left with the box in hopes of gaining some questions to be answered. They were going to make everyone who reads the View as happy as they did that girl. But, as you must have already deduced, someone stole it! Thankfully, with the use of international negotiations involving a metal peacock in which the girl reneged upon, she was able to gain back that pen! But one of the other in the set of three was stolen from her feasting table. Heartbreak once again ensued and the set was incomplete and so was our heroine's heart.

After that heart wrenching story, do you still believe that swiping pens is a victimless crime? How long do we let this go on and at what cost? Are not even Gelly Rolls sacred?!

Sincerely,
     Diana

P.S. To the Childhood Ruining Theif: If you let my pen go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will give you an earful.