Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Let's get Ready to Annnnnnswwwwerrrrrr!!!!!

How do you live, or unlive if you have Embrace Death, with yourself? How do you sleep on your silk mattress washed with the BLOOD OF UNDEAD WORKERS BARRED THEIR CIVIL RIGHTS? Why are my people not offered the barest modicum of civil rights when you take them out to the barley plantations to work from 8 to 7! At least let them nibble on some brain on a lunch break or something. You monster.


Respectfully Hate You

Baron Von Dead Guy



Photo by Jesse Gifford



Dear Monster,

I live quite well, I have many furs and jewels and undead servants, thank you for asking. In addition, my undead have no rights.They don’t even urinate without my orders, which comes in handy for my clients with more exotic tastes, but that’s neither here nor there. What most necromancy is, is restoring the mechanical functionality to a body. In that way it’s much more respectful to individuals than healing as Baptiste pointed out.In fact his article is an excellent primer on necromantic ethics.  

And trust me there would be much more outrage if I allowed my undead to run rampant, but if that’s what the people want I will be at Feast of Creathorne offering my services.

Love,
Illumier Soft-Nosetti

P.S You provide the bodies; I’ll provide the fun.
 





How do you live, or unlive if you have Embrace Death, with yourself? How do you sleep on 
your silk mattress washed with the BLOOD OF UNDEAD WORKERS BARRED THEIR CIVIL RIGHTS? Why are my people not offered the barest modicum of civil rights when you take them out to the barley plantations to work from 8 to 7! At least let them nibble on some brain on a lunch break or something. You monster.

Respectfully Hate You
Baron Von Dead Guy


Listen here you whiny little Litch,



I’ll have you know I don’t use the Undead in Neden for anything. In fact I kill as many as I can as often as I can.
Those gross zombies make more mess then they ever clean. The rest of Neden is actually quite nice to the Un-dead workforce. Priest Z helps them with religion and Ideology and makes them feel very included in all the blood rituals, Jean Baptist is always having them come down to help in the kitchen (for some reason we need to replace all the kitchen volunteers) heck even Siff uses them to practice his Harlequin stand up comedy routine (Now those are some unfortunate bastards).

As far as working them in the field all day, I agree, we should not. Do you know how hard it is to keep a large mass of zombies on task? Especially when there are always wayward adventures walking around like a take out mutton shop. We barely get anything grown in the fields the sanitation process to make sure the stuff they did touch and or handle takes more time and effort than it would if we handled the gardening ourselves.

Not to mention they are the worst drunks. We have to kick out a un-dead hooligan at least twice a week at The Old O’Leary Hump House and Bar (Neden’s Bar and Breakfast Joint).

Last week ol Swoop was visiting Jean Baptist and these two real uggo undead walked in mumbling something about Brain-tini’. Jean Baptist was trying to decipher what they were saying while Swoop was trying to get them some pretzel’s.. “BRAIN-TINI” the disgusting duo kept screaming, I said “We don’t serve brain here fella, how about one of our award winning apple-tini’s?”

Well let me give you a bit of advice if you offer a Zombies anything but a brain related item prepare for odd looks and angry yells.

Well these two mammoths instantly snapped, one zombie picked poor Swoop up over his head, and military pressed him through our nice stain glass window that Sarix just made (you try casting repair item on shards of glass). Well Jean Baptist wasn’t having any of that.  He started mumbling something then his eyes turned red (not unlike Lord Nymbous's after 4 or 12 Appletinis) and the two huge Monstrous Menacing Maniac Un Dead Meat-bags eyes turned blue; Then they did the strangest thing, they looked at each other mumbled and the head-butted each other till the both were dead. Well JB’s eyes turned back to normal he collapsed in the bar stool and ordered a Milk (Who does that?), he then curiously looked around asked what had happened, and reflected upon how we should really fire the undead cleaning that place.

Moral of the story here, they never clean this place. Like, ever.
Un-Dead rights psssshhhhhhh….Be afraid of the ever growing mass of zombie creating murderers.

Hope the is information helps sorry if it doesn’t.


It’s like Lord Nymbous always says “Lifelessness flows through your veins you are mine and this shall remain your will is mine your body obeys in my service your corpse remains now get up and go to work I and behave your self clean that castle that doesn’t clean itself. Rise my undead and go wash the windows”


Love Always
Sir Syruss O’Leary of Neden
Knight Of the Potentium
Question Master Extraordinar
Knight of the Blue Rose
Order of the List
All in all not a bad guy




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