Written for the wedding of Queen Meg and Sir Callin
A very sleepy princess one Rrathchllwyn evening late
Found her tentmate in a far too great inebriated state
So she set out for to find a place where she might take her rest
At the Folkestone camp she found the fateful answer to her quest
Little did she know that she would meet a man that night
Who in a future ceremony would proclaim to all in sight
That no sword will come between them, nor evil magic spell
And all those with just cause why they should not wed can go to –
“Hello, gentlemen,” she said, but they seemed not to hear
So she hollered “Guys!” and that address fell well on every ear
“Perchance have you a place where I may rest my weary head?”
Young Callinostros said, “My lady, I shall share my bed.”
But he placed a sword between them for the proper separateness
Ironic that someday they would both publicly profess
That no sword will come between them, nor evil magic spell
And all those with just cause why they should not wed can go to –
Still did they lie, staring upward from their cots
While Folkestone raised a ruckus outside drinking flaming shots
They were toasting, they were boasting as around the fire they sat
Saying “Callin bagged a princess! You can’t get luckier than that!”
Little did they know someday their bragging would come true
But that part of the story is not meant for me or you
And no sword will come between them, nor evil magic spell
And all those with just cause why they should not wed can go to –
Well Meg awoke next morning to an empty tent
So she did her royal toilette then out the door she went
She found Callin in the campsite, he’d been up now for a while
“My lady did you sleep well?” he asked her with a smile
She answered with a kiss and a lasting embrace
She said, “Thank you, yes I did,” and then she dropped him on his face
And the years rolled by. Now, for every person there is a task that they just can’t
quite seem to accomplish no matter how hard they try, and over the years it became clear
that Callin and Meg are nuptually challenged.
And someone was always crashing the party...
See some Chimeron brides are “challenged” by the foes of that great house
For the demon lords or fey come steal them right before the vows
This has happened to Her Majesty several times at least
She gets whisked away by some unseemly supernatural beast
Who locks her in some scary plane where mortals fear to roam
It’s a wonder that poor Meg can ever spend a night at home
And no sword will come between them, nor evil magic spell
And all those with just cause why they should not wed can go to –
Bells were a-tolling on their happy wedding day
When Sir Callin’s apparent in-laws came and got carried away
And the Folkestone groom had problems too when he was split in twain
For a while there were two Callins – one had the looks, one had the brain
But we got him back together through some heavy sacrifice
And fortunate for Meg, it worked, now he’s both cute and nice
And no sword will come between them, nor evil magic spell
And all those with just cause why they should not wed can go to –
Well we know the story, now the one thing left to do
Is to make sure that this ceremony finally goes through
We’ve got bodyguards and faerie stones and wards of detection
We’ve got demon bane and magic swords and circles of protection
Whom love has brought together may no one separate
And whoever tries to interrupt will meet a gruesome fate
For no sword will come between them, nor evil magic spell
And all those with just cause why they should not wed can go to hell
