Tuesday, June 6, 2017

I Can't Even



I Can't even...
By, 
Sara 'Zarine' Jessop
… Rain


Here in the Realms we like to complain about the weather. A lot. It's too hot, it's too cold, it's too wet, it's too dry... Seriously, it's like nothing makes us happy except complaining about something that we have zero control over. People are fond of saying,“if you don't like the weather, wait a minute”. Well, guess what, we aren't going to like it then either.

Currently though, we have a rather valid complaint: it just won't stop raining. Oh sure, we have a sunny day here and there, but it's almost like mother nature is just mocking us with them at this point. Like, “hey look at what beautiful weather I could be giving you! It's alright plebs, clean out your fireplaces and open your windows, I'm all done giving you cold and rainy foolishness. Relax!” So we relax. We think, ''Oh goody! Better days are finally upon us!” Then that little tart is all like, “Just kidding bitches, here is ALL THE RAIN!”

Maybe all those tree huggers are right and she really can hear us. Last year we were all like “We didn't get enough precipitation and now we are in a drought. This sucks.” So this hussy is like “I'll teach those idiots to question my judgment again”, and boom, the boat building industry is raking in the gold. 



The constant rain and cold has been taking it's toll on our moods. Everyone is cranky and tired. We want to shut ourselves in our houses and hide under blankets where we feel warm and safe. Now, some of us make our living under blankets and can classify our sudden antisocial tendencies as 'work', but it's still not a healthy way to live life. Especially if there is nothing under that blanket with you except a chocolate cake you named Charlie. “But Zarine...” No. Charlie is just going to make you fat. Put Charlie down and go outside.

There are many ways that we can combat the dreary aura that is threatening us all. First and foremost is getting out of bed and getting stuff done. Rainy days are great for getting inside chores done since there is no sunshine to be like a siren's call to lure you outside. Instead there is a big storm cloud that seems to shout “Don't come out here, harlot.” So wash laundry, do dishes, scrub your floors, organize your closet, paint that wall you've been meaning to paint, burn all your chartreuse garments, or any number of things that likely need to be done around your home or business. The sheer act of moving your body and accomplishing something will make you feel better, and as an added bonus it will also help to warm up that bone deep cold that seems to have settled upon you. Honestly by the time decent weather becomes a regular thing our homes should all be immaculate.

Socializing is another good cure for the 'absolutely terrible weather' blues. Go to a gathering. If there isn't a gathering happening, throw your own party. It doesn't have to be extravagant (though bonus points if it is). Just a small gathering of friends doing something that you all enjoy should do it. Just make sure that what you want to do isn't terribly depressing. You are tying to lift each others spirits not dishearten them and send them into a spiraling desolation. Don't have any friends? Well, come on down to Alchimia Lupinaar. We have many friends of varied interests to choose from, and the nominal fee required is a small price to pay to find temporary happiness.

Bardic entertainment can always help elevate your mood. Hire some minstrels, attend a bardic circle, go to a dance, or visit a theater. Sing yourself. If you are a horrendous singer like myself, make sure you do it somewhere that no one can hear you. Like inside your carriage. I know that you can see and hear people outside, but trust me, they can't see or hear what's happening inside. Don't ask me to explain how this is scientifically possible, it's just something that is known to be true. And dance around your house when no one is watching. Or better yet, laugh in Mother Nature's face and dance in the rain. Dance and sing until you are out of breath. Trust me, you'll feel better afterwards. Innocent bystanders may be horrified, but who cares about them. Unless I am one of them, you do you and feel good about it.

Hopefully, one of these days the rain will stop for more than a day at a time and the sun will begin to make a regular appearance in our lives once again. But for now, just like that person we have a crush on and doesn't know we exist, we will just have to be satisfied with the few times he decides to visit and grace us with his presence. Bask in it's warmth when it's around and truly appreciate what an impact that giant ball of flaming gas makes on our lives. And when he inevitably leaves without even realizing how much we want him to stay, don't fall into a miserable despondency like the world is just not worth living in. And if you do, don't whine to me about it. No one else wants to be dragged into your despair.

So take one last bite out of Charlie, get out of bed, find something that makes you happy, and Mother Nature be damned, just do it.

See you next Tuesday


Zarine is the proprietor and Madam at Alchimia Lupanar, a magic marshal approved practitioner of medicine, an award winning author, and has 36 years of experience in giving her unsolicited opinion.

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