|Putting the N in News|
Bads in Black Special Edition:
The Necrotic Laborers Union
By Jean Babtise -Chief Field Reporter
As people might have noticed, the undead are a little, kinda, sor tof, pretty, very, mad. Mostly over completely unreasonable stuff like, and I quote “We murder them constantly for no reason” and “We are literally starving to just “dead” ”. Stuff like “Basic civil liberties” and what have you, generic union spear waving. But how bad is it? To find out, Jean Baptise, Ace Reporter, has gone undercover on one of their protest rallies.
The speaker in question is one “Casper Stalled” a undead who claims to have “Escaped from Grimloch”, whatever that means (Maybe he’s a member of Invictus?). Honestly, his beret looks stupid.
Hold on a zombie nearby is trying to talk to me? Why yes I do look like Jean Baptise, yes that is a weird coincidence.
Am I Jean Baptise? Wow, that’s a great question isn’t it. But I like to point out that just because someone who looks like Baptise is at a rally doesn’t really make him that guy. I think you should be a little more trusting of people.
“Greetings my fellow undead. I have only one question, are we people? Do we not think, can we not be angry? For if we are able to mourn our fellows, if you are able to successfully be the foundation from which an entire nation churns, can we be nothing else but people?” Asked an undead
“You, my fellows, are capable of all these things. You feel wronged when your brethren are killed, you slave in their apple orchards so that their wooden trinkets have any value. Therefore, how can we not be anything but people.
And, as people, it is only natural that this nation has incurred a very, very, longstanding debt. For they do not treat people well at all.
They kill us on the street at the same moment they demand we harvest their grain, that we bake their bread, that we let them sustain themselves so that they need not move until they can murder or drink for their bloodsports.
We must let them know that until they treat their people properly, their people will not treat them properly. And if it comes to blows… well then, it is fortunate for us that our leaders already massacre us without reserve, for there is nothing they can do to us that they are not already doing.
They need us, we don’t need them.” Casper Preached. The zombie onlookers are… well confused that brains were not mentioned, but they liked the part where they are stabbed less.Looks like this protest has only just begun.
Trouble on Ghost Fog Island!!
Syruss’ Petitioner Adventure
by Sir Syruss O’Leary of Neden
We here at the Neden Kazoo learned from the town off of the southern tip of Ghost Fog Island( A mysterious Island that has always been in Neden) that it has been spooked by an a scary specter. The ghastly ghoulish ghost could be that of Fog Ghost Island's discoverer Professor Thomas Honest. Professor Honest thinks it's the ghost of the infamous Captain Moneys Bones who has come back for his lost jewels rumored to be that of Atlantis itself however Professor Susan Shifty just is not sure about that.
Cabby Ditch Zodiark and I met up with Gumbo...We asked Z to join us but he laughed, then laughed maniacally then louder and louder till we all just walked away.
We met up with Professor Susan Shifty and she told us that once a citizen discovered the famous Ghost, and tried to shoot it, but the bullet passed right through. Cabby claimed that might be an important clue. She also saw the creature look around her tent. That was the area where Capt. Money Bones had died at the hands of his first mate, First Mate Frederick Morgan the most famous First mate ever (seriously he is like 20 guys first mate).
Professor Shifty told us she needed help to prove that the ghost was a fake one. She also told Cabby, that Prof. Thomas Honest looked a bit-annoyed at her for calling us. We started helping out, and of course, it was Ditch and Gumbo who first discover the Ghost like Creature. They spotted him deep within the ruins of the island (every island has spooky ruins FACT. The creature was digging in the ruins, and dropped some objects. Then tossed the dirt on them.
The Ghost spotted the boys, but then turned back to his own work. Gumbo and Ditch came out once they were finished watching. They came to me, and told me what they had seen. Prof. Honest was at the site, he was once again arguing with Prof. Susan Shifty. Both are keeping with their thoughts. Once they left, Cabby made a remark.
"They won't stop fighting until we put the lid on this caper." I agreed with Cabby
This time around we split up into two teams....again....
Team #1 - Syruss and Zodiark
Team #2 - Cabby, Ditch and Gumbo
Team #1 was to look though Prof. Susan Shifty's laboratory.
Team #2 was to go back to the cave and hunt down the Ghost.
My team found the Ghost spooking Prof. Susan Shifty, The Ghost spotted us and took off with some old test tubes and lights, a box of old wires, and a two jars of gears and bolts…
Prof. Susan Shifty claims that no crook would steal those worthless parts. Meanwhile…
Cabby's Team didn't find the Ghost, but did find a strange UFO. A spooky silver-covered thing with four golden long wing sticks. One of them was bent. Cabby and Gumbo tried to the open the door, but couldn't. As they waited, they saw the Super Scary Ghost appear and spook Ditch and Gumbo out of the cave. Cabby followed.
We talked about the Ghost, Cabby is convinced it's Prof. Susan Shifty, who's is trying to scare Prof. Honest out of the island's ruins, so she can claim them for herself.
The Ghost at his house was an illusion and some basic seer magic proved it. I planned a trap with, of course, Gumbo and Ditch as bait. Gumbo baited the Ghost into the trap. It looked like we had trapped the Ghost, but then it split into five parts. One head, one body, two arms and two legs and it took off!
"Nice going, Ditch." stated a new voice. We turned to see a familiar face, Z and Naj.. "What's going on?" I asked.
Naj and Z told us that they were following a Boniara, a race that looked a human Ghost. The name of the creature is Crockia. Crockia is a crook and is hiding jewels from the Boniara. Naj and Z also told us that Ghost creatures can split into five parts because most of their major body organs (brain, lungs and heart) are in their skulls. Crockia is pretty good at hiding, but Naj told us that he had a item to locate the body parts. Each one of us started hunting...
Zodiark founded one of the legs.
I located the body and another leg.
Cabby found both arms.
We heard a yell. It was familiar to us. It was the "HOLY MOLY" of Ditch. Naj also heard the screeching sound of Crockia's laugh. Within a few seconds, Gumbo and Ditch crashed into us...and Crockia's head ended up in Naj's arms. Upset, that she landed in Naj's arms, Crockia pulled her herself together and attacked Naj and Z, who immediately started casting lightning bolt. It's seems that Crockia was stronger than Naj or Z. Then, Zodiark got an idea. He asked Gumbo and Ditch to run around Crockia. Gumbo and Ditch did it....and Crockia ended up dog-tired on the floor
After Naj put Crockia in prison and recollected the magical jewels, we found an odd chest. It seems to be that of Captain Money Bones. Just then a thin pirate ghost appeared, "A Million Pounds of Thanks for Finding That ! Now I can to rest in peace." stated the ghost.
"That must have been the real ghost !",Naj says.
Naj and Z transport the captured being (turns out not a ghost) into Neden’s newly acquired spaceship (a story for another day) and take off for the castle.
Also Naj notes that two other bystanders were involved in this caper, both Shape Shifting Boniara. Prof. Thomas Honest and Susan Shifty. Susan Shifty revealed that she had used a solid illusion orb to make us think that we had found the Ruins of the island. Prof. Honest knew that Shifty was faking the Magical Ruins to bait us into the mystery, which worked.
"What's next, a real mermaid?" ask Ditch. "Now that's one creature, I wouldn't mind seeing !." stated Gumbo.
Just then, a report from the scrying orb straight from Lord Nymbous comes in. “The real Ruins have been found and the owners of the ship we found are starting to wake up.” Nymbous Stated.
“Well petitioners looks like we have another mystery to solve. To the conundrum carriage” I exclaimed with pride.
"Here we go again..." moans Ditch.
And we all laughed!
Neden Crossword (Cross Words not Streams)
1. Teams run their Head of State
6. Mother Nature Mother Earth
7. Is the Best Bard and Master of all the River Birds
9. Papa Bear of Folkestone
12. Leading cause of retired Adventures
13. Says he best Bard in the lands
14. Don't let him walk off with your dead but buy his jerky
2. Not good for supporting houses but really good in line battles
3. the is the worlds best gnome
4. old fights young for bragging rights treachery vs youth
5. Only one a weekend what?!?!
8. These guys know their way around a kitchen
10. Often Working with Litches11. How do the keep those so clean,bleach?